


takin' over the world (one kiss at a time)

by johndery



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, jaehyun is a bartender, johnny is a writer, the sex honestly isn't that explicit but i'm still rating it E because i can, tinder dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johndery/pseuds/johndery
Summary: “you’re… eerily good at this,” johnny says, willing the discomfort in his chest cavity to go away along with the burning of jaehyun’s eyes on his skin, “are you sure my theory on mind-reading is false?”“yeah,” jaehyun smiles with a sense of finality, just as he aligns the last shot glass in a perfect row on the glowing display shelf behind him, “if i were a mind reader, i’d tell you to suck it up and get laid already.”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 17
Kudos: 247





	takin' over the world (one kiss at a time)

**Author's Note:**

> hey :p  
> i was struggling really hard with writer's block and then i realized i write easiest when i project onto johnny so... yeah ❤️  
> enjoy! 
> 
> also me, while writing this, as an ex-bartender: this literally never happens lmfao

time flows differently in hotels, johnny realizes.

he comes to this conclusion right as the tired bartender slides him a second glass of neat whiskey, muttering something about sad alcoholics under his breath before leaving johnny by himself again. the bourbon, quite honestly, isn’t all that good and it’s ridiculously overpriced, but he should’ve expected it for a bougie hotel such as the _sheraton_. it’s not a place he’d frequent on his own, but it’s convenient for his tinder hookup, and he likes the ambience.

the bar is spacious – it gives him an opportunity to think, rationalize that what he’s doing isn’t completely absurd and laughable. _it’ll be good for you_ , mark had insisted while johnny freaked out to him over the phone and forced him to pick the navy blue tie instead of his usual black, _for starters, you might lose the tie_. the tie, however, is a sense of security – a reminder that he’s still just johnny suh, nursing a ficus at his tiny apartment in lakeview, not _john, 25, journalist for the korea times chicago_ as his profile highlights. he’s had a hard time picking out his good points to list under the tinder bio, and despite being a lover of photography he doesn’t have that many pictures of himself, so it took a long, long time full of mark’s gentle guidance for him to finally settle on three pictures that will make him more interesting than any other random guy in someone’s area.

the three pictures eventually led to 99+ likes, which led to approximately five matches when johnny felt confident enough to swipe left instead of exiting the app altogether after being met with a pretty person close to his age, which ultimately led him to here – sitting by himself in _sheraton_ with an empty glass of bourbon that stains his mouth with the taste of bitter wood.

honestly, he only bought it to calm his nerves.

his position at _korea times_ gives him the luxury of frequenting places like these with little to no scratch on his bank account. it’s entirely out of his comfort zone, though, which is why he avoids them like the plague. johnny’s suit isn’t luxurious or designer because he wants to show off – it’s tailored because johnny’s a big man and regular sizes don’t fit him, and he thinks there’s nothing wrong with using the payment for his hard labor to live a comfortable life. it’s all about practicality, it always has been. he’s not filthy rich, but he can afford the things that he likes, so he indulges them. it just so happens that his hobbies and interests are timid and simple in nature, so more often than not he comes off as stuck-up or boring.

tonight, that will change.

hopefully.

truthfully, johnny hasn’t been on a date in _months_. maybe even years. when he thinks back on it, anxiously chewing on a bowl of peanuts he stole from the bartender’s station just so he’d have something to do with his hands, he can’t properly remember the last time he even allowed himself to think of another person in a romantic way. since childhood, his aspirations and goals always centered around work, work, work – not necessarily to accomplish his dreams, because he never had any, but just to become successful at _something_ , so his parents would welcome him back to his old home in the suburbs with a proud smile on their faces. so they can brag to their friends in retirement about their son, graduate with honors, now an established writer for a pretty high profile magazine who also works on original fiction in his spare time. _johnny suh_ is a popular name in his old neighborhood. outside of the journalist and publisher world, however, he’s pretty unknown.

exactly how he wanted to be.

but now, thinking of all his achievements throughout his admittedly short life, the same accomplishments he’d usually be proud of make him uncomfortable. is his career anything to brag about? would his date – this _ten_ person – even be interested in something like that? mark had claimed, over and over to soothe johnny’s overthinking brain, that his tinder profile is just the right amount of captivating and mysterious. the perfect formula for people to become intrigued by what he’s hiding behind his catlike smirk and sharp, brooding eyes. johnny doesn’t understand what he means by that – his lips are just shapely, and his eyes are accentuated by dark circles from lack of sleep. there’s nothing intriguing about that.

ten seems to disagree. they exchanged small talk when they matched – it was ten who messaged johnny first, since it was evident that johnny wouldn’t make such a bold move within thirty minutes of their match. nothing major, really, just ten expressing his attraction to johnny by describing internet images he doesn’t fully understand the meaning of and johnny overusing the crying laughing emoji because mark taught him it was cool. (he really has a lot to thank his editor for, since mark is his only and most trusted source to _communicating with people 101_.) when johnny asked for more information about ten, the younger suggested they should just meet in real life and discuss that along with _other_ , much more _interesting_ topics – the innuendo was heavy on that one. and johnny may be clueless, and lacking human skills, but even he could interpret what ten wanted – and since ten’s here on a business trip (a vague excuse) and is staying at the _sheraton_ in riverwalk (remote location), johnny figured – why not. he owns a car. he can drive out there two hours early, sit at the bar and work himself up even more instead of calming down his nerves.

he digs into the transparent bowl in search for another peanut to pop into his mouth and yelps when the legume bites him back.

he stares down at the molded glass he’s currently clutching close to his chest, and belatedly realizes that the ‘bite’ came from a dish rag slapped against his knuckles with the precision and impact of a cowboy whip, and when he follows the trail it left behind, he’s met eyes with the bartender that served him twice earlier, an annoyed frown creasing the skin between his eyebrows.

“you do realize you’re like, not the only guest in his bar, right?” he asks in a patronizingly soft voice that makes johnny shiver and pout like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. ridiculous, really, since the bartender currently scolding him looks to be his age, the lack of wrinkles on his face indicating he may be even younger than him (or just not as stressed) and his outrageously pink hair makes him appear a lot less intimidating than what he wishes to be.

johnny looks around, sizing up the empty stools adjacent to the bar and the tables that are hosting approximately three people at the moment, all immersed into their conversations and barely touching their drinks, and meets the man’s eyes with a questioning gaze: _are you sure about that?_

it makes the bartender sigh – he breaks their eye contact by glancing down at his shoes and pinching the bridge of his nose like johnny’s a nuisance and he refuses to let him ruin his night. johnny takes this opportunity to analyze his appearance – he’s dressed from head to toe in black, the hair bringing the only pop of color into his attire. his skin is sun-kissed but not overtly tan, so johnny assumes he either spends a lot of time working here or he just doesn’t like going outside that much. his nametag reads _jaehyun_ , which strikes him as odd – that’s a korean name, and while the man looks typically east-asian, most of his korean friends, both back in his home neighborhood and in his current firm, have adapted some form of an ‘english name’ to avoid awkward mispronunciations.

“jae-hyun,” he tries, accentuating each syllable, “aren’t you tired of white people butchering it?”

for all the irritation johnny seemed to have risen in him, that question makes jaehyun laugh. he retrieves the dish rag – which johnny realizes just now is still moist from soaking up droplets of water off clean glasses – and begins wiping down his station, which he had probably been doing before he decided to interrupt johnny’s internal monologue.

“have you _seen_ the people that stay in _sheraton_? they don’t give a fuck if my name is jaehyun or jeffery. i’m mostly called by ‘you there’ or ‘boy’ or some variation of ‘you’re so irrelevant to my life that i don’t care who you are as long as you serve me a drink’,” jaehyun shrugs, “my coworkers call me ‘jay’, though.”

he highlights the nickname with air quotations and despite himself, johnny starts chuckling. their little interaction seems to better jaehyun’s mood and the previous tiredness and monotone voice fade away ever so slightly, but he focuses on his task and allows the silence to slip back into the air between them.

which sucks, really, since johnny finally started feeling like the ground outside his comfort zone isn’t lava threatening to swallow him whole but, rationally, jaehyun doesn’t owe him anything, let alone his time, and the stereotype of bartenders serving as much cheaper therapists isn’t something johnny wants to enforce. he does let go of the peanut bowl, however, and lightly nudges it back to its original place, pushing back the sleeve of his suit jacket to check the time glowing brightly on his apple watch. it’s only five thirty. he still has an hour and a half to go before ten shows up.

he considers briefly to just text him that he’s already here, and if ten has the time they could start their date a little early. _date_. the word still leaves him feeling funny, like he isn’t allowed to even think it, let alone say it out loud. like he’s reading into all this way too much, and to ten it isn’t even a second thought. but he also knows that ten has a meeting before this, and has asked for an hour to get himself ready (to look as pretty as he does on his pictures, though, johnny thinks any man with a face structure like that doesn’t need to try very hard to be alluring). he doesn’t want to be imposing, dating etiquette escapes him and tinder hookups make no sense to begin with, so he decides to order a third shitty bourbon and list the pros and cons of tonight in his head.

there’s a fresh glass of alcohol in his hand before he even utters the word. jaehyun’s looking at him with his eyes shaped in moon crescents and lips upturned in a sly grin as he says, “figured you’ll need it.”

“thanks,” johnny finds himself saying before his brain fully catches up with the situation, “so it’s true? bartenders can read minds?”

he almost bites his tongue off – so much for not perpetuating stereotypes. honestly, johnny is better than this, but pretty people are hard to function around, and jaehyun, much like ten, fits perfectly in that category. around his coworkers, who share all his uninteresting, plain hobbies, johnny is allowed to be smoother, more charming. it’s what got him promoted from assistant to headline writer within six months of employment. in the office, or in his apartment typing at his laptop, johnny has a witty tongue and a captivating way with words. thrust into the unknown, he isn’t sure how to act.

“mmm, i like to call it _people skills_ ,” jaehyun, to his credit, answers smoothly, unperturbed by johnny’s slip-up and subsequent mental meltdown, “they come with practice. i’ve been working here for two years now, so i can read customers pretty well. especially when they’re having a hard time. so, _you_.”

he points at johnny, straight at his chest, to the left where his heart is beating irregularly, hidden under layers of clothing and skin and muscle, and yet so oddly exposed to jaehyun’s scrutiny. or no, not scrutiny, exactly – there’s no judgement behind jaehyun’s tone, just neutral curiosity, maybe even mild amusement. at least someone is having a good time.

“what gave it away?” johnny gives up, offering a weak, timid smile in return. mostly because jaehyun’s statement leaves no room for argument, but also because he’s genuinely curious how others perceive him. ( _you are a dilf, johnny_ , mark had told him while creating his tinder profile, _just, without the d part. or, well_ -)

“i get guys like you often, actually,” jaehyun continues cleaning up the station, throwing out empty bottles into a carton box labeled _GLASS_ and wiping down wet dishes still steaming from the disinfection they went through in the dishwasher, “rich, relatively young dudes,” he casts a _look_ his way, like he’s assessing the offense with that statement, but johnny forces his expression to remain neutral, “who got successful too quickly so now they have no idea what to do after. i mean, what _can_ you do when you’ve accomplished everything you wanted in the first twenty-something years of your life? what’s there left to explore? so you realize,” jaehyun’s grin gets broader, like this has dawned on him, as well, “you never got to experience love.

johnny gulps, and jaehyun instantly catches the bob of his throat with his keen eye, but his analysis continues, undeterred, “so after years of living in solitude, swallowed by your career, you decide to give dating a try. after all, you can’t expect a perfect partner to fall into your lap when all you do is slave away at your corporate job from sunrise to sunset and come back to your empty apartment too exhausted to put an effort into meeting people.”

“journalism,” johnny says, voice cracking at the last vowel. when jaehyun merely lifts an eyebrow, he rushes to explain, “i, uh, work in journalism, for _korea times chicago_? with some creative writing on the side,” he usually has no qualms about reciting his career choice to anyone who asks, but for an unnamed reason, jaehyun makes him feel embarrassed, “nothing major, but my latest title did find its way to the bestseller list.”

“congratulations,” jaehyun says, a little too dryly to be genuine, “and let me guess. all your works are introspective and focus on the main character’s journey through the world and the way they perceive it,” johnny thinks back to mark calling him at three in the morning to cry into his microphone because editing his novel brought back suppressed childhood trauma, and inwardly cringes, “thought so. because that’s the only time you really let yourself process what’s happening.”

“you’re… eerily good at this,” he says, willing the discomfort in his chest cavity to go away along with the burning of jaehyun’s eyes on his skin, “are you sure my theory on mind-reading is false?”

“yeah,” jaehyun smiles with a sense of finality, just as he aligns the last shot glass in a perfect row on the glowing display shelf behind him, “if i were a mind reader, i’d tell you to suck it up and get laid already.”

that makes johnny sputter – thankfully, he hasn’t even touched the offensively bad bourbon in front of him, so he doesn’t actually spill any drink from his mouth, but the statement is still so shocking that it makes his heart race in an unsettling kind of way. maybe it’s the weirdness of a complete stranger making a comment on the lack of his sex life, or the fact that he’s so terrible at the whole dating thing that even the bartender he’s known for a little less than an hour can read between the lines of the tension in his muscles.

maybe it’s the prominent dimples coming to light on each side of jaehyun’s cheeks as he breaks into a fit of laughter at johnny’s bewildered face.

“oh man, i was just teasing,” jaehyun says through fits of laughter, and johnny would have laughed too just because the sound is so nice if he weren’t so terribly mortified, “but it seems i’ve hit the bullseye? what, is it a blind date? a tinder hookup?” his eyes narrow, his lips purse and his shoulders hunch forward in a conspiratory gesture, “a _grindr_ hookup?”

“tinder,” johnny grunts, chugging the whiskey to clear his throat. leftover peanut mixes with the staleness of bourbon and burns his throat in an unpleasant but welcoming type of way. this is quickly becoming too much. he needs something to ground him again, “it’s an, uh, tinder hoo- hookup, but i’m waiting for a man.”

he hates the fact that he stutters – he’s not eighteen, for fuck’s sake, face growing hot while listening to the stories of his friends’ first sexual adventures. he’s a grown man with a respectable position, a well-paying job and a sizeable income; he should be able to say the word _hookup_ in front of a handsome bartender who just summarized the past twenty-five years of his uneventful life in ten complex sentences.

he _should_ , but he isn’t, and now jaehyun’s watching him again with a teasing smirk that shouldn’t make him even more attractive than he already is, but johnny’s ears heat up as a natural response.

“interesting,” jaehyun hums to himself, “and he’s staying here, in _sheraton_? or are you a homewrecker and his wife can’t find out? we value our discretion policy very highly. as far as i’m concerned, you were never even in here.”

johnny resists the urge to groan and rub his eyes with the bottom of his palms. he should have known that he’ll somehow ruin this night for both himself and ten, when he actually does come. by the time ten arrives for their date, polished and pretty and proper, johnny will be a crumbling mess of nerves and anxiety, only amplified by this conversation that seems to be pushing him further into an existential crisis.

instead, he pouts, “how would you even point me out to an angry, revenge-seeking wife? i’m not staying here. you don’t know my name. at most, you just know i drink shitty whiskey and eat peanuts when i’m stressed.” _aside from everything else he’s been able to deduce out of you just sitting there_ , johnny’s brain unhelpfully provides, which he purposely chooses to ignore.

“that’s my point,” jaehyun answers easily, leaning forward on the counter with his bare elbows grazing the onyx marble. like this, he’s closer to johnny, and he can vaguely sniff out an earthy cologne and laundry detergent mixed with sweat radiating off jaehyun’s clothes. it’s not an unpleasant scent. in fact, johnny thinks it suits jaehyun perfectly, “you’re just another stranger that i get to hyper-analyze to keep myself entertained during a boring shift. once your date comes to pick you up, i’ll forget you were even here,” but even as he says that, as his dark eyes glance down to size johnny up, his words lose their sincerity. johnny isn’t sure what to make of that.

but it’s exactly what makes him blurt out: “johnny.”

he needs to reel his train of thought in before he ruins this evening even further. there’s an underlying _something_ in jaehyun that makes johnny throw his communication skills out the window entirely. he’s still debating whether it’s the atrociously attractive dimples, the swoop of his pink locks that fall into his sparkly eyes, or the way he cracked johnny’s carefully constructed iron shell open without barely any effort on his part.

“that’s my name,” he provides after a second of confused silence, “johnny. youngho,” he adds, quickly switching to korean to make his point clearer, “but in my line of work, people kind of have to know who i am, so it’s easier to just be ‘johnny’.”

jaehyun’s eyes light up, either in recognition at their mutual second language, or in committing johnny’s name to memory, “okay, mister hotshot,” he answers back in standard korean, teasing, “or are you that desperate for me to remember you?”

not desperate, exactly. but a part of johnny, despite all his anxious doubts, enjoys this conversation. the banter is easy to fall into – it’s easy to forget the reason of his leg jumping up and down where it’s resting against the heel of the bar stool. it’s easy to stop fidgeting in his suit and wondering over and over if he’s doing too much, if he’s reading into this too much, for what’s supposed to be just a _hookup_. after all, ten himself made it clear that this is just a casual thing. they’re exploring different options. their chemistry is great in the chatroom, and if it doesn’t translate well in real life, then no harm done. if it _does_ , well… the _sheraton_ has really comfortable beds.

but johnny overthinks. johnny gets lost in his own head and it’s easier to write it all out instead of experiencing it. the fact of the matter is: every single thing jaehyun’s listed about him _just_ from observing him is correct. ten may have done this before, but johnny hasn’t. ten may be used to hooking up with guys in his ten-mile radius when he gets bored in whatever city or country he’s currently visiting in for work. johnny has never left the comfort of chicago’s familiarity, not even for vacation, because all he’s ever chased after was success, a sense of accomplishment, firmly believing that’s all he needs in life to feel complete.

“who wouldn’t?” johnny asks, despite the clench in his gut getting tighter and tighter. maybe he _does_ need to get laid, or maybe it’s a lot more complicated than that. he doesn’t care to know, “it’s not often that i get to meet someone who will protect me from cheated wives for the measly price of three whiskeys.”

jaehyun meets his eye, and there’s that underlying _something_ , flickering back and forth in his irises. for the first time, jaehyun seems like he’s hesitant. his tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip, and johnny knows he’s being watched differently than before. like jaehyun’s considering things that aren’t appropriate to talk about in a public setting. he takes his time soaking up johnny’s sharp cheekbones, his brushed hair, the angle of his jaw. he spares a glance at johnny’s collar, at the tie snug around his throat as a comfort object, at the outline of his arms in his suit jacket, down to his fingers splayed on the countertop. but before he can say anything-

johnny’s watch goes off. 

yes, he’s set an alarm for six fifty-five, giving himself five minutes to prepare for ten’s arrival and go through all small-talk topics he’s come up with to avoid awkward silences. back at his apartment when he ran the idea through mark, the editor agreed it’s a good tactic, at least for johnny to calm his racing thoughts and start the date off on a good note, rather than breaking down within the first ten minutes or so.

now, it’s a terrible crash to reality – jaehyun moves away like he’s been burned despite them never touching and hastily busies himself with pretend work, grabbing johnny’s empty glass and picking up the tray to clean up the tables after the customers that left a little while ago. he strangely feels like he’s ruined something. that, if circumstances were different, he’d be meeting jaehyun instead of ten, and the heat rushing to his brain would be for an entirely different reason.

but things are the way they are, and johnny doesn’t have time to wait for jaehyun to return – almost like the bartender is purposely prolonging his task with the tables – because he spots the familiar sharp nose and sleek black hair he memorized from ten’s profile pictures approaching him from the lobby, his face breaking out into a bright grin and arms lifting up in a playful wave once he spots johnny at the bar.

he traps a few twenties under the drink menu, hoping it covers the drink and the tip and _more_. jaehyun is out of sight when he looks around, either hiding or genuinely busy, and the discomfort in johnny’s belly travels higher. suddenly, he’s not even anxious about the date, or where ten might lead him once they exchange greetings.

suddenly, all he can think about is alluring pink hair and an adorable set of dimples.

the date goes great.

it goes better than expected, actually. ten is a delight – he’s charming and bright and funny, every bit of a salesman if johnny’s ever met one. he remembers his tinder profile, a blue checkmark next to his name, highlighting his easygoing personality and urge to meet new friends despite being chained to a large corporate name. in many ways, johnny recognizes himself in ten; the ambition, the need to succeed, the row of achievements he keeps hidden under his belt, exposed only when politely asked about them.

he also recognizes what ten wants.

it’s blatant. even while their talking was bound to text messages, johnny could tell ten is blunt and straightforward in his desires. he watches johnny swallow his water (no more alcohol for him tonight, he’s decided) with the kind of hunger that awakens goosebumps along johnny’s skin. he picks a light salad off the menu because he’s on a _cleanse_. he’s shamelessly checking johnny out and more than once, he praises himself for his taste in men.

it’s so much different than what _johnny_ desires.

he supposes that it’s important to experience one thing to realize he yearns for another. ten makes him laugh and eases the strain he’s worked himself into beforehand, but the heat in his stomach is from something else entirely. when ten’s slender fingers envelop around his own across the table, he pulls back before he’s even aware he’s doing it, and it’s enough to send ten a message.

three hours pass by in a blur. they wrap up the dinner a little past ten, when the pale silver of the moonlight peeking through heavy clouds clashes with the yellow hues of the chandeliers on the surface of the open windows. johnny’s tired from overworking his brain, tired from staying alert of ten’s rapidly changing conversation topics while keeping unwanted thoughts at bay. he wishes nothing more than to drive home, crash into his mattress and sleep before returning to his everyday routine.

and yet.

ten holds his palm in a firm handshake, their size difference absurd when johnny observes it like this, “i had a really nice time,” he says nonchalantly, “but i have a feeling this is where we part.”

“am i that easy to read?” johnny’s smile lacks humor behind it, but ten seemingly takes no offense as he lets go of his hand. without his permission, his brain resurfaces the memory of jaehyun, manhandling the dish rag, captivating him with each crude word that delivers a blow to his ego.

“i think you’re much better at being with people than you give yourself credit for,” ten answers, “i just hope that whoever ends up melting that ice around your heart will be patient with you.”

they bid their goodbyes and go their separate ways – ten, back towards the reception where he left his keycard _just in case_ , and johnny, his legs automatically carrying him to the underground garage where his car awaits him.

except, his muscle memory urges him to make a turn just before the elevator, past the lobby and into the open area of the bar, scarce of people and with most of the lights shut off.

there, behind the countertop, stands jaehyun, focused on scrubbing down a particularly stubborn stain.

he doesn’t notice johnny entering at first. his footsteps are light, careful not to disturb him. he takes note of the upside chairs resting on the tabletops, indicating that the bar is closing for the night, “a little early to shut off people’s cheapest alcohol source here, isn’t it?”

jaehyun yelps, concealing it just quickly enough for the sound to never reach johnny’s ears, but the flush on his cheeks is still prominent, matching the rosy pink of his hair, the same locks he kept going back to in his mind the entire night, “that’s only because of the nightclub nearby. all the traffic goes there on the weekends.”

despite the initial surprise, his voice is levelled, calculated. he’s eyeing johnny like he’s looking for anything that might be askew – like johnny being here is a hallucination, or he really did forget all about him ever being here, like promised. the thought of it hurts. he wasn’t lying when he implied wishing jaehyun would remember him.

“you’re back early,” he says, eventually, still assessing him. he can probably already tell that nothing major happened, aside from johnny being a lot less stressed now than first entering his bar, “didn’t have fun?”

“oh no, ten was plenty of fun,” johnny shrugs, alert of any reaction that might come from jaehyun – his shoulders sag, his movements halt, he refuses to meet johnny’s gaze, “we laughed a lot and he was very obviously trying to fuck, but in the end we just parted with a friendly note.”

then, relief. so palpable that johnny suddenly has to resist the urge to walk over to jaehyun and- “so you came back here to mope about not getting your dick wet? i’m afraid that therapy session will cost you more than just three drinks and a seventy-five percent tip.”

so he definitely paid more than enough before he left. good. “actually, i was wondering if…”

he trails off, the mustered bravery escaping him when jaehyun looks up and those same sparkly eyes from before meet his in what can only come across as hope. jaehyun’s lips are parted, and despite the space between them, he can feel his uneven breath against his skin and the smooth skin of his fingertips around his throat, “if?”

“if we forego the therapy pretense and go back to mine?”

the silence that follows is heavy. the atmosphere in the spacious room swells and for the seconds it takes jaehyun to reply, johnny’s world comes crashing down around him all over again. what if that was too forward? what if he was reading into it all wrong, and jaehyun was only teasing him because it’s fun, because he’s not the first desperate, lonely man that stumbled into the bar during his shift?

“i’ll need another fifteen minutes,” is what jaehyun ends up saying, his face carefully blank and devoid of emotion, which johnny appreciates because it helps him school his own expression instead of freaking out, “to close up and change. where do you live?”

“i have an apartment in lakeview,” johnny answers, “i’m here by car so i can drive us.”

another moment of silence, during which jaehyun seems to be contemplating the safety of being in a car alone with a man he met a few hours ago, and then, “okay. fifteen minutes? you can wait in the lobby.”

it ends up being twenty. johnny anxiously taps his foot against the shiny laminate, restless in the leather couch he’s sitting in despite it being extremely comfortable. jaehyun shows up just as johnny contemplates taking his phone out of his pocket and texting mark about the surprising direction his night has taken – and wow, jaehyun might be pretty in his work uniform, but he’s breathtaking in his regular clothes. he’s exchanged his all black outfit for a pair of washed out skinny jeans that cuff at the ankle, low cut vans and a graphic tee that clings to his shoulders in a painfully attractive way. johnny doesn’t even realize he’s staring until jaehyun is standing in front of him, reaching up to pat his cheek almost affectionately.

“sorry i took longer than i said. had to text my roommate where i’m going so he can be alert if you try to murder me,” his smile is teasing, but his words are not, “by the way, i need your exact address to send him. otherwise you _really_ aren’t getting your dick wet tonight, youngho-yah.”

he switches to korean mid-sentence with so much ease that johnny finds himself reciting his address like a robot while jaehyun diligently types it in on his phone, sending the ping to his supposed roommate. like this, johnny can admire how jaehyun is tall and muscular, but still smaller than him, “that’s ‘hyung’ for you,” he says despite himself, relishing in the way jaehyun looks up from his screen with dilated pupils, “i’m like, ninety-five percent sure i’m older than you.”

“hm,” jaehyun hums, pocketing his phone and taking a step closer to johnny, “maybe you’ll get to find out if you’re right.”

johnny’s a careful driver – no matter the distance, he always respects the traffic rules and never drives past the speeding limit. even now, when his fingers are burning with need, he’s keeping them safe from other, reckless drivers drifting down the main street as he takes them back to his apartment.

he expects jaehyun to be silent, contemplating, maybe even regretting his choice in going home with him. but instead, jaehyun picks apart every detail of his car – from the dangly air freshener in the shape of a tree tied to his rearview mirror to the meticulously wiped down compartments, buttons and command panel of his acura, “you know, i thought you’d drive something fancier,” jaehyun mumbles, “like a bentley. or at least a range rover. you seem like an SUV type of guy.”

“really?” johnny asks, amusement laced in his words since jaehyun evidently has no knowledge on cars, “what other type of guy do i seem to you, mind-reader?”

jaehyun’s cheshire grin is enough to raise the hairs on his nape, “like… the kind of guy who has no idea what to do in bed with another dude.”

“you’re saying that just to get a rise out of me.”

“that obvious?” jaehyun leans his head back against the window, opting to watch johnny drive instead of the buildings and streetlights they leave behind, “you’re just so… wired, it’s easy to get under your skin. i wonder if you’re like that when you fuck, too.”

he risks a glance at jaehyun instead of the road just to watch him pull his lower lip between his teeth again, “you’re a lot bolder now that we’ve established our intentions.”

“i gotta say, you’ve surprised me,” jaehyun shrugs non-committally, but the layer of insecurity peeks through his words, “first you came in looking totally dejected and every bit my ideal type. then, you ate all my peanuts. and _then_ i find our you’re not as straight as i thought, but you’re freaking out over a date with another man.” he pauses, like he doesn’t want to say his next words, “i know i said i’ll forget about you, but honestly, i was scared you’ll forget _me_.”

johnny leads the car into the garage of his high-rise building, scanning the pass and reverse parking it into a secluded corner he has reserved for himself, mulling over jaehyun’s words in the quiet that envelops them. he wonders if this is the fate that people like to praise to the gods – if a purposeful set of events brought them together just for johnny to turn around in his seat, meet jaehyun’s eyes and pull him in by the collar for a messy, unplanned kiss.

truthfully, he’d meant to kiss jaehyun in his bedroom, after some more small talk about their lives and pasts or as much of it that jaehyun wants to reveal to him. not like this – in the dim lightning of an underground garage, obscured by tinted windows and taller cars around them, the engine of johnny’s acura whirring to a halt until all he can hear is the smack of their lips and their heavy, intercepted breaths.

jaehyun’s mouth is soft. he vaguely tastes like strawberry lipbalm similar to the one johnny uses sometimes when he indulges a deeper skincare day. his lips are wet from johnny’s spit and he kisses back like he wishes to swallow johnny whole. eager, urgent, reaching out to wrap his hands around the back of johnny’s neck and angle his head in a better position so their noses can slot together, and he can lick into johnny’s mouth with ease.

they pull back when the automatic light in the garage goes out, and johnny quite frankly finds difficulty processing air. jaehyun isn’t any better, all attempts at catching his breath unsuccessful, and johnny’s pleased to find his lips are swollen red and thoroughly kissed, but he still wants more.

“let’s go up,” johnny says, unlocking both doors so they can scramble to get out, “i promise my bed is even comfier.”

the ride in the elevator is tense. jaehyun’s turned towards him with his body, but his head is pointedly facing the steel door. johnny isn’t sure what to make of it. his own heart is racing loudly in his ears, its echoes traversing through his entire body. his suit is itchy and for the first time, he actually can’t wait to remove the goddamn tie and toss it somewhere he’ll never find it again, just to feel jaehyun’s hands on him. he thinks back to the last instance he felt anything remotely close to this – with an intern at the publishing house for his first book, the timid girl who served as mark’s substitute while the editor was out sick with the flu. even then, it couldn’t compare to this; the need to push jaehyun into a wall and unravel him, wipe his mind clean of all worries, nothing but the blissful, empty feeling of bare skin on bare skin.

he gets his wish minutes later – after he hastily punches in the passcode, jaehyun is the one to walk him into the apartment, shutting the door closed after him and slamming his back against the door, chest heaving with unspoken need, his eyes traveling between johnny’s imposing presence in the small apartment and the undiscovered area behind him, “hyung,” he says with a whine, “fuck me.”

johnny likes that – likes the thought of jaehyun’s brain resetting back to korean when he’s so needy he can’t think straight. he obeys dutifully, picking jaehyun up with ease despite the man’s bulkiness, and something about subtle display of strength seemingly turns jaehyun feral. he’s kissing him again before they even reach the bedroom and he’s pushed back on johnny’s firm mattress, licking into johnny’s mouth, over the inside of his cheek, under the soft flesh of his tongue.

when he entered _sheraton_ a few hours prior, johnny thought he’d end up back at his apartment alone and unsatisfied, or by some miracle, in one of their luxury suites with his underwear tossed on the floor. the probability of the second option had been so low that he hadn’t even bothered to clean up before he left. he briefly considers the mess in his room – the clothes haphazardly thrown over his wardrobe and the floor, the unmade sheets, the scattered documents and papers of his latest novel that will change course of the story after the night is over for sure – but jaehyun doesn’t seem to care, or even notice for that matter, that there’s anything else in the bedroom beside himself and johnny’s weight on top of him.

he moans, when johnny’s thigh finds its way between his legs, pushing him into the bed ever so slightly. testing his reactions. johnny knows he’s a big man, he knows he’s stronger than most people. sometimes, the stress of everyday life only seeps out of his body if he works out until he feels lightheaded. he controls his strength around people – he controls it around mark when he pats his best and admittedly only real friend on the shoulder. he controls it around his coworkers when they shake hands. he controls it with his precious technology, around his laptop too tiny for his big hands. but with jaehyun – he doesn’t have to control it. jaehyun gives himself up to johnny so easily.

“hyung,” he mumbles, “clothes, off.”

he’s a lot less talkative when he’s horny, johnny finds out. he finds out a lot of things about jaehyun in the half hour that follows – he learns that jaehyun’s neck is sensitive when he blows air on it, that he likes his nipples played with, keeping johnny’s head pressed to his chest when he licks over one of the curiously perked nubs with his warm tongue, a high-pitched wail escaping his throat at the torturously good sensation. he likes to tug on johnny’s hair and bring him up for a kiss when he thinks his lips are too neglected. he sometimes wishes to take control back for himself and flip johnny over so he’s on top, taking his time exploring the tight muscles of johnny’s firm abdomen. and even as he discovers all these new things about jaehyun with each clothing item that’s taken off, with each new inch of exposed skin, johnny detaches himself from the fact he met jaehyun mere hours ago.

in many ways, it feels like he’s known jaehyun his whole life.

when jaehyun demands lube and condoms, johnny uses the minute it takes him to fetch them from the nightstand to think with clarity. it’s strange, how he doesn’t fear he’ll regret this come morning. he doesn’t even fear that he’ll wake up to jaehyun gone from his side of the bed. he looks back at jaehyun, bare legs spread wide and waiting patiently for him, cock flushed red and leaking heavy against his stomach, his pink hair mussed and his hands outstretched to hold johnny’s when he closes in on him, and he begins to understand.

it’s _this_ that he’s been missing – not the physical aspects of being with someone, but the fine-tuned movement of their bodies as jaehyun opens up for his fingers beautifully, his hole stretched and still tight around him. for once, he can let his mind go, his thoughts float away and commit himself to _feeling_. it’s similar to how jaehyun was able to read him just from a simple glance – like this, he can understand what jaehyun wants even when his moans are unintelligible, and he clenches around johnny’s thick fingers in search for something _bigger_.

and when he fully slides into jaehyun, he concludes he’s found _it_.

maybe he’s gone about it the wrong way – disconnected from people his whole life only to find his moment of clarity while balls deep buried in one. but to someone else, johnny’s every decision could’ve been interpreted as wrong. chasing monetary satisfaction, putting success and security ahead of his social needs – johnny’s aware he’s done it worse than others. but even now, with jaehyun moaning his name, clawing at his back as he takes him again and again, fucks him into the mattress so hard it makes the bedframe squeak, he’s grateful for every conscious choice he’s made. every choice that brought him to jaehyun.

he jerks jaehyun off so he’d come first, hands sneaking to his front and wrapping a large hand around him, jaehyun’s fucked out, glassy eyes watching his every movement. he reaches out, like it’s an instinctive action, and circles his fingers around johnny’s wrist, crooking his palm in an angle that makes it feel better, and then he’s whimpering, johnny’s name falling from his lips like it’s the only thing he knows. and in that moment, johnny considers that jaehyun feels it, too. feels that connection between them or is at least willing to explore it.

“come on my stomach,” jaehyun demands, and johnny willfully listens, fucking jaehyun through the spasms of his orgasm until he feels him clenching around him, sucking him in, and before he can let his brain fully turn into mush he pulls out, discarding the condom to stroke himself to completion right into the dip of jaehyun’s navel.

jaehyun’s stroke of his arm is affectionate, blunt fingernails tracing invisible patterns over johnny’s heated skin, watching his come spill over his belly and mix with jaehyun’s with a hungry gaze in his eyes. it’s dangerous. it’s promising.

johnny likes it.

once his breathing evens out into a semblance of normalcy, he lets go of the strength in his arms and collapses on top of jaehyun, trapping him between his body and the bed, the come on jaehyun’s stomach staining his own, but he’s too fucked out to care. too stoked due to his earlier epiphany.

“jaehyun,” he murmurs into the crook of his neck, “stay the night.”

“i can take the bus,” jaehyun hums, though his fingers dig into johnny’s hair and tug on it lightly.

“i don’t want you to go,” johnny confesses, quietly, “i don’t even have your number.”

“you know where i work, big guy,” the younger’s voice is soft, faraway, like he’s already drifting to sleep despite his fake desire to leave, “you can just ask the staff about me.”

“i don’t want to,” he admits, refusing to move. it’s perfect, just like this, jaehyun’s arms wrapped around his back, soothing the harsh red lines he scratched into him, “i want you to sleep over, and i want to make you breakfast in the morning, and i want you to tell me to block my boss’ weekend calls so we can go to the park and cuddle while you tell me more about yourself.”

he hopes that his words came out as firmly as he means them – in reality, they’re slurred, but the intention is still there, and if jaehyun were in any better shape, he’d definitely make fun of him for it. what matters is – jaehyun agrees with a hum, and mumbles something about a shower, but johnny doesn’t hear him. he can finally let his brain sleep for once.

they’ll figure out the rest later.


End file.
